Done With Dating?

I think I'm pretty much done with trying to find a significant other.  It's for sure been an interesting 5-6 months or so.  But there's only so much I can go though before it's just not worth it to me.  And it seems like all the women I meet just want to fuck!  That would have been great in my teenage years or even my early to mid 20s.  But anymore it's just not as important as it used to be to me.  It's not that I don't like to fuck, it's just that I want more than that.  And when these women get up on me and attempt to fuck me with-in the first few days of seeing them, it turns me off more than it turns me on.  While I'm flattered that they want to fuck me, it also makes me feel super cheap.  It makes me think that they would fuck anyone that quick.  I mean, they didn't even know much anything about me!  I could have had herpes as far as they knew!  It bugged me so much that I couldn't even keep it up if you know what I mean.  Having the last few women fuck me right away then toss me aside for someone they felt is better has left me feeling like a disposable dildo.


One of the main people I talk to about my dating stories is my Mom.  She thinks that the 25 year olds I have been meeting(all the women I met besides one have been 25, what's up with that?) are just too immature and that I should go for an older lady that is more interested in companionship than sex.  One that is cool with dating ONE man at a time and isn't constantly up on her cell phone texting the other guys she met on various dating sites.  It would be awesome to have my very own cougar, but I'm afraid I don't completely agree with my Mom's logic.  It seems that all women have a checklist.  If they can't check off everything on the list then you're not what they are looking for.  And all of their lists are pretty much the same.  House, car, job, good in bed and if they have kids, will you make a good second Daddy.  Which is a real shame knowing that people should just like people for who they are, not what material bull shit they own.  And people that have been in love or have had strong feelings for another person can tell you that sex is almost always better with feelings attached to it.  And it's not like I won't have a job for the rest of my life.  


The experiences I've had with dating recently have left me jaded to say the least.  And in all honesty, I don't like the whole "dating" thing altogether.  I guess people that are "just dating" are allowed to date other people as well.  Which kind of grosses me the fuck out!  I don't like sharing women.  And to top it off I have major trust issues as a result of being in relationships with slutty girls through out the years.  When I hear that someone I am dating is dating other guys then right away I assume they are fucking them.  I mean they are the same women that were willing to fuck me so quickly so what's stopping them from being like that with all the other guys that they meet off the same dating sites?


As a result of not completely trusting one of the last girls I dated, I decided to date multiple girls simultaneously to see if I could improve my odds of finding a girlfriend.  It made me feel dirty for some reason even though I didn't fuck or even kiss any of them.  One was a really good hugger though lol.  I never told the girl I was mainly interested in since I didn't want her to think that I wasn't interested in her.  Which made me feel worse since I think withholding information can be just as bad as flat out lying.  And the fact that I went against my own morals made me feel incredibly desperate.  And it of course made me feel like a big old hypocrite since I don't like it when women do that to me but I still did it to them.


So yeah, I haven't completely given up but for the most part I have.  I still log on to the dating site I use and look at people here and there.  It would be super nice to have someone to cuddle up with and drink some hot cocoa or some tea with while watching some movies this Winter.  But it seems like I always end up single and lonely during the Winter.  At least I will have more time for video games I guess.